Churches that throw out gays and mentally ill kids

Most parents love, nurture and protect their children. When they are unable to do so, something is very wrong. As the founder and former executive director of the Ali Forney Centerthe New York-based homeless shelter serving LGBTQ youth, I have spent 30 years working with homeless teens—young people whose parents failed to care for them and left them homeless in the streets.

The reasons for their homelessness can be complicated, often exacerbated by extreme poverty and economic injustice. But when parents neglect and abuse their children, there is usually some pathology involved—often addiction, mental illness or a combination of the two. Anyone who has worked with homeless LGBTQ youths knows another reason that parents all too frequently forsake their children: because of their religious beliefs.

These are stories that, as a Catholicmake me deeply ashamed. Like the young transgender woman who showed up at our drop-in center battered and bruised, her back covered in welts from being pummeled with a crucifix and three of her fingers broken from being smashed with a Bible.

Or the male-identified transgender teen repeatedly forced to stay awake through the night by his Catholic mother, who made him spend long hours copying out biblical verses condemning homosexuality. His Catholic aunt and uncle took in his brother, but not him, because he was gay.

I ask myself: How can belief in a God of love cause parents to torture, abuse and discard their children for being queer? Since our opening inmore than 10, young people have sought refuge from the Ali Forney Center. Most have suffered family rejection due to their sexual orientations or gender identities.

Most parents would never do such a terrible thing. I think of Jesus, who unfailingly welcomed those who were outcast or considered morally unacceptable. Jesus taught his disciples about God who was like a loving parent, one who would never turn their back on their children.

The heart of the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ, is that God is tender, merciful and loving, and that we are called to receive and embody that love. The scope of the damage is horrific. LGBTQ youth homelessness is an epidemic. Too many LGBTQ youth are driven to despair by their abject sufferings in the streets and the psychological ordeal of being rejected and unloved by their parents.

What is it that provokes the hostility of so many religious parents? They tear at the bonds between religious parents and their queer churches that throw out gays and mentally ill kids. They can make parents see their children as shameful, as ungodly. Our life in faith is dynamic, not static.

We are called to deepen our love and be transformed by the Spirit. This call is addressed to us as individuals and collectively to the People of God. Given the extent to which the crisis of LGBTQ youth homelessness is caused by religious condemnation, I wish to ask the readers of Outreach during this time of Lenten renewal to consider a concrete act of repentance.

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There are many small organizations across the United States and around the world responding to the desperate plight of abandoned LGBTQ youth. I work with many of these groups, like the Ali Forney Centerhelping them develop urgently needed programs to provide housing. Please consider connecting to such a group and offering your help.

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